he lost his rosy cheeks
and his big ole belly
he's been livin on a yacht
he's kinda sweaty and smelly
mrs claus left in the 90s
and rudolfs gone
santa claus is amazon
he left the north pole
he said its too damn cold
he went where wages were cheap
and the taxes are low
and if ya saw his list
it'd make ya kinda nervous
alexa send my data
up to customer service
it ain't all cookies and milk
the mans got ambition
he's been stirin up the cocoa
with the federal trade commision
he been bustin up unions
trading elves for slaves
makin mountains of trash
dumps out in the bay
dancer and prancer and
donner and blitzen
are all on reindeer unemployment
barely making a livin
he traded the sleigh
for a big blue van
its gotta logo on the side
like some funky banana
he cut big white beard
and quit being jolly
he's been deckin the halls
with somethin different than holly
he bought the washington post
and still can't get good press
santa claus name is Jeff
santa claus is amazon