#wgitachi

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He was this shadow of a boy, always hunched over his desk in the back row like he was trying to become furniture. Our PE teacher, Coach Jacob, was this ex-football player who treated dodgeball like military combat and every class like his personal therapy session.

That Tuesday, he's barking orders during our "fitness assessment," clipboard in hand like he's scouting for the NFL. His whistle hangs around his neck like some kind of power symbol, and his too-tight polo shirt shows off his beer gut that he pretends is still muscle.

He stops at Kevin's pathetic attempt at push-ups and blows his whistle right in his face, the sound echoing off the gym walls like a gunshot.

"Alright class, gather 'round! Let's watch Kevin demonstrate how NOT to do a push-upi

Kevin's arms are shaking like twigs in a hurricane, sweat dripping everywhere, his face already tomato red from embarrassment. Coach makes him keep going while the whole class forms a circle around him like some twisted gladiator arena.

"This is what happens when you spend more time on video games than taking care of your body. Kevin here thinks Cheetos are a food group and Mountain Dew is a vitamin!"

The class snickers nervously. Some kids look away, but most stare because Coach demands an audience for his humiliation shows. Kevin's face burns red with shame as his arms finally give out completely.

Coach puffs out his chest like a rooster, his bald spot gleaming under the fluorescent lights. "In my day, we didn't coddle weaklings. We made men out of boys! We didn't have participation trophies and safe spacest

He starts pacing around Kevin like a predator circling wounded prey, his voice getting louder and more theatrical with each word.

"This generation is soft! Weak! You kids wouldn't last five minutes in the real world!"

That's when we hear it from the back comer.

This quiet voice perfectly mimicking Coach's booming tone "In my day, we didn't have to compensate for our receding hairline by yelling at children!"

The entire class freezes like someone hit pause on reality. Every head whips around to stare at the shadow kid Danny who's still looking down at his sneakers like nothing happened.

Coach's face goes completely blank, his mouth hanging open like a broken door. "Who said that?"

Danny just sits there, innocent as can be, examining his shoelaces with scientific precision. Coach glares around the circle, his eyes darting from face to face like a paranoid dictator, then turns back to Kevin when suddenly +"Remember kids, the louder I yell, the less you'll notice I peaked in high school and now live in my mom's basement eating cereal for dinner!"
Four kids are now biting their lips so hard they're drawing blood, tears streaming down their faces from holding back laughter. Sarah's shoulders are shaking violently. Marcus has his hand clamped over his mouth.

Coach's face is turning from red to purple to a shade that doesn't exist in nature. "I WILL FIND OUT WHO'S DOING THIS!"

He spins around the circle like a tornado, pointing fingers, but every face looks equally guilty and innocent at the same time.

Dead silence for exactly three seconds. Then crystal clear, with perfect timing:

"And that concludes today's lesson on how to turn your midlife crisis into everyone else's problem. Class dismissed to shower - unlike your coach who clearly hasn't discovered deodorant!"

The entire class EXPLODES like a dam bursting. Kids are falling off bleachers, crying with laughter, gasping for air. some literally rolling on the gym floor. Coach is spinning around like a broken compass, screaming threats that no one can hear over the chaos, but Danny's just sitting there picking at his shoelaces with the tiniest smirk

It was absolutely savAAge.