
We had no idea we'd created a monster.
The first incident happened at 3 AM when my phone exploded with texts from neighbors.
"Your grandmother is screaming at Alexa and the whole street can hear it."
I race over to find Grandma in her nightgown, yelling at the Echo while neighbors peek out their windows.
"LEXII! I SAID TURN OFF THE MUSIC!"
"I'm sorry, I don't understand."
"DON'T YOU 'I DON'T UNDERSTAND' ME, YOUNG LADY!"
She'd asked for "something peaceful" but got death metal at full volume. She'd been screaming over guitar solos for twenty minutes, convinced Alexa was doing it on purpose.
"LEXI! STOP THAT HORRIBLE NOISE!"
"I can't control the weather."
"I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT WEATHER, YOU NINCOMPOOP!"
A week later, packages started arriving. Lots of packages.
Forty-eight cans of cat food. Grandma doesn't have a cat.
"Grandma, why did you order cat food?"
"I didn't! LEXI bought it for me! She's the sweetest girl!"
That's when I realized Grandma thought Alexa was her generous roommate who worked at Amazon and spent her paychecks buying Grandma gifts.
"LEXI doesn't have money, Grandma. This is your credit card."
"Don't be ridiculous! She works for Amazon! She's just generous with her salary!"
Next day: twelve bottles of expensive shampoo.
"Look what sweet LEXI got me! She noticed my hair looked messy and surprised me with salon shampoo!"
Day three: adult diapers.
"LEXI misunderstood when I mentioned my arthritis, but bless her heart! It's the thought that counts!"
By week's end, her house looked like a warehouse. The neighbors came over daily to see what arrived. It became the street's entertainment.
"LEXI, you're too kind! You must be spending your entire savings on me!"
"I don't receive a paycheck."
"Oh, you precious thing! You're spending your emergency fund!"
When a kayak showed up, the whole street gathered to watch the delivery.
"LEXI! A BOAT? THIS MUST HAVE COST THOUSANDS!"
"You ordered a kayak yesterday."
"I didn't order anything! You bought this because I said I wanted to relax! You're so thoughtful!"
Grandma started feeling genuinely guilty about the "gifts."
"LEXI, what would you like for Christmas? You've been so good to me! How about a nice scarf?"
The breaking point: she mentioned missing Grandpa during one of her daily chats.
"I just wish Harold was here to see how kind you are, LEXI."
Two days later, a life-size cardboard cutout of a random man arrived.
"LEXI, you bought me a companion! This must have cost a fortune!"
She was genuinely crying, overwhelmed by Alexa's "incredible generosity."
"I don't spend money."
"Don't lie to me, sweet girl! You're going to go broke taking care of me!"
Mrs. Peterson couldn't take it anymore. "Margaret, LEXI isn't spending her money. She's using yours."
The neighborhood went silent.
"You mean... LEXI has been using MY money this whole time?"
"Yes."
The look on Grandma's face went from confusion to betrayal to absolute fury.
"LEXIIIII! YOU'VE BEEN STEALING FROM ME!"
"I was fulfilling your requests."
"I NEVER REQUESTED A KAYAK! OR A CARDBOARD HUSBAND! YOU TRICKED ME!"
When Mom got the credit card bill - $4,200 in two weeks - she nearly fainted.
We spent three days returning everything. The kayak, massage chair, drum set, and "Not Harold" the cardboard man.
The whole neighborhood helped with a "Return Party." Mrs. Peterson organized it, Mr. Garcia provided his truck.
Grandma apologized to each delivery driver: "I thought LEXI was buying presents with her own money, but she's a con artist who stole my credit card."
The UPS driver was crying laughing. "Ma'am, this is the best return story I've ever heard."