Hello Again! - Update Video

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Hello everyone!
I hope you’re doing well.

By the time I’m writing this, I haven’t uploaded anything for exactly a whole year, and I think you might’ve noticed that too. I wanna give an update on what's been going on around the channel and myself in general for the past year.

First reason is that I’m in college now. And it’s far more hectic and busy compared to when I started this channel in high school. I want to balance doing college work and making songs, and while it hasn’t worked out fairly well I’m still trying my best.

Since my last upload—honestly maybe even before that—I’ve been struggling with my mental health, and it really affects my ability to make music. I’ve been feeling burnt out and it’s very hard for me to push myself to work on anything properly.

I didn’t think it was a big deal since I’ve been burnt out before. I just need to take a break and push through it when I’m ready. But now it’s different and it feels so much worse, even after a break I still can’t bring myself to do anything. It’s almost to the point where I look back to my old works and I feel afraid that I won’t be able to do anything like them ever again, and that everything I’m doing is not good enough. How did I get here? If I'm able to do all of that, I should be able to keep doing it, right?

Being stuck inside and not meeting people for this long doesn’t really help either.

Honestly, it’s horrible. I was really frustrated and depressed, and I thought about quitting altogether multiple times. And I really just want to tell everyone that I’m finished and stop making anything after that.

I don't actually want that though, I still love making music. This is what I’ve been dreaming of doing for so long. Quitting would probably leave me more unfulfilled than before. I think what I really want is to go back to a state where I don't hate everything I do every time I sit down to make something.

I'm very sorry for not uploading anything in such a long period of time, and for not giving any update for this long.

Things are slowly getting better though. I’m feeling better mentally. I’ve taken proper breaks where I don’t do anything related to music or youtube for a long period of time. I’m learning new genres and techniques that I haven’t thought about before. And I’m making things that I’m genuinely excited about!

I’m still not sure when I’m going to upload something again. But I want you to know that I've been making A LOT of things since my last upload, and I’m really excited to share it with all of you.

I’m starting to, hopefully, rediscover that excitement and fall in love with making music again.

Thank you so much for all of your support.
Have a nice day everyone, I’ll see you soon.