Anesthesiologists, What anesthesia story still makes you cringe years later?

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My boyfriend Johnny had knee surgery last month, and I took the day off to drive him home. He was nervous about anesthesia, so I promised to record anything funny he said.

Big mistake.

They wheel him into recovery still completely out of it. The surgeon, Dr. Khalifa, comes in to check on him - she's this gorgeous woman in her thirties.

Johnny's eyes flutter open, sees Dr. Khalifa, and his jaw drops.

"Oh my God. Are you an angel?"

Dr. Khalifa smiles politely. "No, you're in recovery. How are you feeling?"

Johnny tries to sit up and stares at her. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Will you marry me?"

I'm sitting right there. RIGHT THERE.

"Johnny!" I say from my chair.

He turns and looks at me confused. "Who are you?"

"I'm your GIRLFRIEND."

Johnny looks back at Dr. Khalifa. "Is she telling the truth? Because I definitely want to marry you instead."

Dr. Khalifa glances at me awkwardly. "Sir, you just had surgery. You're not thinking clearly."

"I'm thinking perfectly! You saved my knee, now save my heart!"

He tries to get on one knee next to the bed, still in his gown.

"Johnny, sit down!"

"No! This is important!" He looks at Dr. Khalifa with complete sincerity. "I know we just met, but will you marry me? I promise I'm a good boyfriend!"

The nurses outside are definitely listening now.

Dr. Khalifa is trying not to laugh. "That's very sweet, but you have a girlfriend here."

Johnny looks at me, then back at Dr. Khalifa. "Can I have both? Is that legal in Ohio?"

"JOHNNYY!"

"What? Dr. Khalifa, would you be okay with sharing me?"

Dr. Khalifa loses it laughing. "I think one girlfriend is enough."

Then Johnny gets serious. "Okay, I'll break up with her right now. We can start fresh!"

"You want to break up with me for someone you met five minutes ago?"

"It's not about time, it's about connection! Dr. Khalifa and I have something special!"

He pulls off his hospital bracelet. "This represents my commitment to you and to knee health!"

Dr. Khalifa takes it, trying not to laugh. "Very thoughtful, but I'm actually married."

Johnny's face falls. "Married? To who?"

"My husband."

"Is he a doctor? Because I bet I'm funnier!"

"He's actually a comedian."

Johnny looks devastated. "I can't compete with that."

Then he turns to me with puppy eyes. "Will you take me back? I made a mistake."

"You literally just tried to break up with me!"

"But she's married! You're my second choice, but like, a really good second choice!"

That's when the nurse brings him apple juice for his blood sugar.

Johnny takes a big gulp, and immediately his face goes green.

"I don't feel so good..."

Before anyone can react, he projectile vomits all over Dr. Khalifa's face and white coat.

Dead silence.

Dr. Khalifa is standing there, covered in apple juice vomit, trying to process what just happened.

Johnny, still high on anesthesia, looks at her and says: "I'm so sorry! But hey, now we've shared bodily fluids! That's like second base, right?"

"JOHNNY!"

Dr. Khalifa wipes her face with a towel, and Johnny continues: "Does this mean we're engaged now? Because in some cultures, vomiting on someone is a sign of deep affection!"

The nurses are dying laughing in the hallway.

"Sir, that's... not a thing."

"Are you sure? Because I feel like we've really bonded now!"

Dr. Khalifa, still covered in vomit, says professionally: "I need to go change my coat."

As she's leaving, Johnny calls out: "I'll wait for you! This doesn't change how I feel!"

When the anesthesia wore off an hour later, Johnny looked around confused.

"Why does everyone smell like apple juice? And why are you all looking at me like that?"

The nurse handed him a paper. "We wrote down your marriage proposal and... other activities."

Johnny read it and turned bright red. "I proposed to the doctor? And then threw up on her?"

"Multiple times. The proposal, I mean. The vomiting was just once."

"Are we still together?" he asked me nervously.

"We'll discuss it in the car."

Now Johnny gets embarrassed every time we pass that hospital. But I kept the recording - it's the funniest and most disgusting thing I've ever witnessed.