
A blonde lady roasts L'Oreal, even though she has a medical condition that makes her shampoo resistant. The Count sells an internet service. A lady is hot for Mike the cable provider because she thinks he'll get her TV land, a 24 hr n*ked people channel. Iowa fair guy wants us to fund his pear addiction, but also to get rid of IOS. Pine Soup cleans better than Pine Sauce, and it's a cleaner you can buy. Nothing escapes the vroom vroom vacuum, which is so bad you just have to gaslight yourself that the mess isn't there. Oakland Zoo lady, who's husband is a bunny, cooks her kids after putting lasagna in them. A doctor recommends Advil, but it sucks, so what do they know? A car gets flooded with bl*od rain, then the narrator accidentally freezes the rain in place and can't get it to start again, so he just walks away.
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Intro by CJMBX