“Brave Wrong” is a bombastic symphonic metal satire that takes aim at the historical inaccuracies of the film Braveheart. With grand orchestration, driving guitars, and a mischievous theatrical flair, the song mocks everything from anachronistic kilts to imaginary royal affairs, while still celebrating the emotional impact of the film. It blends humor, factual correction, and epic energy into a sharp but affectionate critique of Hollywood myth-making — all while reminding listeners who the real Braveheart was.Lyrics:
Verse:
In shadowed glens they made their stand, in kilts three centuries too soon
With woad upon their faces blue, they howled beneath the moon
A farmer rose to lead the charge, with sword of fantasy
But Wallace was a noble son who spoke in fluency!
They cast him wild, a rogue unchained, with mud and fury grim
But he grew up with Latin verse and nobleship within
They claimed he loved a future queen who never crossed his path
While England’s king died years too late for Mel to do the math
Pre-Chorus:
A rebel’s tale, reshaped in flame, with facts left torn apart
The truth was lost beneath the roar—and Hollywood called it art
Chorus:
You bled with Wallace, so bleed with me
Through tales unbound by history!
We’ll ride with myths and wild acclaim
Where facts are slain but truth’s to blame!
With kilts and claymores forged from dreams
And speeches stitched from distant screams!
Verse:
They marched to Stirling, swords held high—no bridge to be seen
“Where has it gone?” an extra asked—“We cut it from the scene.”
A bride was seized by royal right, from laws that never stood
While Wallace waved a five-foot blade like firewood from Hollywood
And Irish troops switched sides mid-fight to give the plot a twist
While mooning foes mid-war was somehow too hard to resist
A tryst with France, a moonlit charge, a script of noble lies
But kilts and myths and toddler queens still earn the Oscar cries!
Pre-Chorus:
They painted war with reckless flair and battle cries untrue
And left the scholars in despair with all they misconstrued
Chorus:
You bled with Wallace, so bleed with me
Through tales unbound by history!
We’ll ride with myths and wild acclaim
Where facts are slain but truth’s to blame!
With kilts and claymores forged from dreams
And speeches stitched from distant screams!
Spoken-Word Bridge:
“And then he screams ‘Freedom!’ with his final dying breath! It’s beautiful, it’s raw—cinema gold!”
“He screamed in pain. Also, Longshanks didn’t die until two years later.”
“But the kilts, the romance, the Irish switching sides! The mooning!”
“The kilts are 300 years off. Isabella was a toddler. Stirling had a bridge. That was the whole point.”
“…Did you like the sword?”
“It’s the size of a surfboard.”
“At least we made Wallace… Braveheart.”
“That title belongs to Robert the Bruce.”
Chorus:
You bled with Wallace, so bleed with me
Through tales unbound by history!
We’ll ride with myths and wild acclaim
Where facts are slain but truth’s to blame!
With kilts and claymores forged from dreams
And speeches stitched from distant screams!
Verse:
They sang of nobles turned to dust, of speeches never said
Of battles won through LARPing rage and legends born undead
The timeline warped, the accents slipped, the truth was cast aside
As bagpipes clashed with plot devices Hollywood applied
Yet still it moved a thousand hearts and summoned rebel pride
Though scholars wept behind their books each time the myths revived
Final Chorus:
They bled for stories, not for truth
In kilted myths divorced from proof!
They built a myth on borrowed bones
And crowned it with dramatic tones
So raise your swords to tales well-spun—
The film was wrong… but damn, it’s fun!
Outro:
“The real Braveheart… was Bruce.”
#WestCoastAI #SymphonicMetal #MetalSatire #BraveheartParody #HistoricalMetal #EpicMetal #CinematicMetal #FunnyMetal #PowerfulAndWrong #AIParodySong #MelGibsonFacts #HistoricallyInaccurate #MetalWithBagpipes #TheRealBraveheartWasBruce #ScotlandVsHollywood
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