
He came floatin' down the alley, cloak as filthy as his grin
Wavin’ round a wand he carved from his ex-wife’s mannequin
He mumbled Latin backwards, tripped over a rat
Tried to curse the mayor's dog — it turned into a cat
[Chorus]
Ohhh, The Weirdo Wizard!
Smells like incense, gin, and mold
Ohhh, The Weirdo Wizard!
Says he’s ancient — looks just old
[Verse 2]
He cast a spell for wisdom, caught a TikTok curse instead
Now he summons demon hashtags, straight into your head
He bathes in goat’s milk monthly, howls at traffic lights
Claims the moon proposed to him — twice — on drunken nights
[Chorus]
Ohhh, The Weirdo Wizard!
Smells like incense, gin, and mold
Ohhh, The Weirdo Wizard!
Says he’s ancient — looks just old
[Bridge]
Oh no! His staff’s on fire!
Oh wait — it's just a vape
He says he met the Devil
But forgot to press record — great.
[Chorus]
Ohhh, The Weirdo Wizard!
Talks to squirrels, eats his hat
Ohhh, The Weirdo Wizard!
Once raised the dead — they sued him back
[Outro]
So if you see him chanting in a parking lot at dawn
Just toss him some burritos — and slowly walk along
He might grant you fortune, or turn your spleen to cheese
But either way, he’ll whisper: “My powers… mostly… tease.”
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