Leave Justin Timberlake Alone! #dui #justintimberlake

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Anyone who has had any interaction with law enforcement knows that, ultimately, they hold sway over one's immediate fate. Whether you've consumed a single martini or merely half a beer, if an officer deems you under the influence, an arrest is inevitable.

For those affluent enough to afford competent legal representation, refusing both the breathalyzer and blood test is always the prudent legal choice if there's a chance of failing the breathalyzer. In court, the absence of physical evidence allows lawyers to concoct plausible explanations for why you couldn't recite the Roman alphabet backwards while balancing on one foot and touching your nose.

Regardless, driving while intoxicated is a grave matter, and I unequivocally condemn it in all circumstances.

This was crafted purely for amusement and serves no other purpose.

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