Caveat Of Joy

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My therapist told me to write something like this
Lyrics:
I don't want to put words to my ugly feelings
Cause when I do I feel like I can't leave em.
Doesn't matter the day, doesn't matter the season.
I pack it all up and I fear that I'm leading

Myself into a pasture of endless repeating
A hole in the ground that I won't end up leaving.
I'm just scared to death of what I start feeling.
When I get sad my head goes through the ceiling.

And every time Im feeling joy
Im fearful of the caveat, the horror
That once shit gets good, the bad is right round the corner

Must be entropy, for me to be happy
Must be destiny when I feel slight
Must be a way, for me to get better.
That can't be on the trains I used to ride.