storytime

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My friend Sarah was complaining about being "so broke" after spending $300 on dinner. I was eating a peanut butter sandwich for the third meal in a row and said, "Yeah, money's tight for everyone right now." Sarah nodded and said, "Totally. I only have like $2,000 left in my checking account."

I nearly choked on my sandwich.

"Sarah, that's not broke. That's more money than I've ever had at once."

She looked genuinely confused. "But what if I need something expensive?"

That's when I learned Sarah's definition of "broke" was having less than $5,000 in her checking account. Not her savings, not investments—just her spending money. She thought everyone kept thousands in checking "for emergencies."

When I told her most people live paycheck to paycheck, Sarah asked, "But where do they keep their backup money?" I explained that many people don't have backup money. Sarah stared at me for a full minute, then said, "That sounds terrifying. How do they sleep at night?"

But it got weirder. Sarah asked why I was eating peanut butter sandwiches again. I explained I had $12 left until payday and needed to make it last three days. Sarah stared at me like I was speaking another language.

"Why don't you just use your emergency fund?"

"What emergency fund?"

"The money your parents put aside for you."

I explained that most people don't have parents who set up emergency funds. Sarah's face went blank. She pulled out her phone and showed me her banking app. There were seven different accounts: checking, savings, emergency fund, travel fund, shopping fund, car fund, and something called "fun money."

Each account had more money than I'd make in six months.

"My dad refills them every month," she said casually. "Doesn't everyone's?"

I watched Sarah check her accounts like someone checking the weather. She had alerts set up to notify her when any account dropped below $1,000. What she considered "dangerously low," I considered winning the lottery.

The breaking point came when Sarah wanted to grab coffee but said she was "watching her spending." I suggested the campus coffee that costs $2. Sarah wrinkled her nose and said, "That's not real coffee. Let's go to that place downtown."

We went to a fancy café where Sarah ordered a $18 specialty drink without looking at the price. When I ordered a regular coffee for $4, Sarah said, "Are you sure? That seems cheap. What if it's not good?"

Sarah was suspicious of anything that cost less than $15. In her world, low prices meant low quality, and high prices meant you were being responsible by "investing in good products."

She pulled out a black credit card to pay. When I asked about the card, Sarah said, "Oh, this is connected to my parents' account. They told me to use it for daily expenses so I don't drain my personal accounts."

I realized Sarah had been "budgeting" and "watching her spending" while using a limitless credit card backed by her parents' wealth. Her financial anxiety was completely theoretical.

After coffee, Sarah said she felt guilty about spending money and needed to "budget better." Her solution? Only shopping at expensive stores once a week instead of twice.

She showed me her shopping app where she'd "saved money" by buying a $400 purse instead of the $800 one she originally wanted. Sarah was proud of her financial restraint.

That's when it hit me. Sarah wasn't showing off or being careless. She genuinely thought everyone had multiple trust fund accounts and was just choosing to stress about money for no reason.

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