Dragonslayer’s Day Off - West Coast AI (Medieval Power Metal)

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“Dragonslayer’s Day Off” is a humorous medieval power metal song about a legendary hero who wants nothing more than to relax for a day—no dragons, no quests, just naps and mead. As villagers plead for help with increasingly absurd problems, the slayer remains stubbornly committed to doing absolutely nothing. With tongue-in-cheek lyrics, heroic melodies, and theatrical flair, the song celebrates laziness as an act of defiance in a world that won’t stop asking for salvation.

Lyrics:

Intro:
“Ugh. Is it morning already?”

Verse:
Today’s the day I sheathe the blade
No quests, no screams, no debts unpaid
The sun is high, my boots are dry
I found a perfect tree nearby

No demons rise, no swords will clash
Just me, a book, and mead to stash
Don’t knock, don’t beg, don’t call my name—
Today, I’m out the hero game

Chorus:
I fight no beasts, I swing no blade
This sunburn is my only raid
No banners raised, no battle hymn—
The world can end, I’ll take a swim
So tell the king and courtly staff:
The slayer’s on a day off—go do the math!

Verse:
A rider came, all pale with dread:
“A goblin horde eats all our bread!”
A maiden screamed: “A dragon’s near!”
I smiled and sipped my mead with cheer

A priest proclaimed: “The dead won’t stay!”
I yawned and waved them all away
They begged and cried—I shut my eyes
And let the sheep deal with the spies

Anti-Chorus:
Let princes earn their royal stripes
I’m done with dungeons, death, and gripes
Let squires cry and barons frown—
I’m busy teaching sheep to bow

Verse:
They begged again—I sighed and rose
Put on my boots, struck a tired pose
I flicked a stone at some troll’s head
Then fed a cursed sword to Ed

The goblins fled, the skies turned red—
I muttered, “Should’ve stayed in bed.”
One knight cheered loud: “He’s back at last!”
I vanished into woods—real fast

Spoken Tag:
“They say I’m the kingdom’s last hope.”
“Well… that’s just bad planning.”

Spoken Interlude:
“I pledge allegiance… to naps.”
“To mead in golden mugs, and quiet woods.”
“To solving no one’s problems.”
“To resting—not rising.”
“And to never, ever answering the door.”

Bridge:
My legend rides on wings of mead
Not dragons slain or noble creed
My throne’s a creaky camping chair
My royal court: one fox, one hare

I once carved doom into the sky—
Today I nap, and let gods cry
The world may burn, the heavens split…
But I’ve got shade, and I’ve got wit

Chorus:
I fight no beasts, I swing no blade
This sunburn is my only raid
No banners raised, no battle hymn—
The world can end, I’ll take a swim
So tell the king and courtly staff:
The slayer’s on a day off!

Refrain:
Day off! Day off!
“Even heroes need a break!”
Day off! Day off!
“Let the kingdoms shake!”
Day off! Day off!
“Let the legends wait!”
Day off! Day off!
“Mead before fate!”

Final Chorus:
I fight no beasts, I swing no blade
My might is in this cool, green shade
Let thunder roll and heroes charge—
I’m here, at peace, the world at large
The bards may sing of blood and flame—
But write this too: he skipped the game

Outro:
“Tell the dragon… to come back tomorrow.”

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